3 Steps to Happiness!

I am amazed how many people still believe, money, along with finding the perfect partner, will make them happy. If this were true, there would be a lot more happiness in this world.

Money is everywhere. There are potential soul mates everywhere. But still, happiness seems to elude millions of people…

…why?

It is pretty well accepted in cognitive psychology that our thoughts and beliefs are what determine how we feel. In other words, it’s not what happens to us, but how we view what happens to us that creates our experience. The Greek philosopher’ ‘Epictetus’ sums it up like this…

“People are not disturbed by things, but by their rigid and extreme views of things.”

Now, some may think, that it’s outside events that influence the way we feel. This is understandable, because if there was a big fire in a hotel and everyone narrowly escaped death, most would be affected to some degree. Some would indeed be traumatised, but others would be only mildly affected, and a few might may even think ‘Phew, lucky escape’ and leave it at that. This is because everyone views their experiences in a different way.

Happiness to a large extend is within in our own control. Nothing, or no-one, can truly make us happy. To some degree, it is our lack of awareness of our thoughts that make us search outside ourselves for answers. Stress affects our thinking. When we become stressed, our thinking becomes distorted, and as a result we tend to focus on the negative side of things.

3 steps to more happiness…

1. Learn to relax…when we are relaxed, we feel happier, and are more aware of our thinking process…
2. Notice your thoughts. Remember, irrational thoughts create unhappiness.
3. Re-frame your irrational thinking into rational thinking.

Let’s take a look at how we do this:

1. Learn to relax…you could learn progressive relaxation: This is the technique of relaxing every muscle in your body…You may take up meditation…mindfulness meditation is best, because it helps you to focus on your thoughts. Or you might discover the wonderful techniques of self-hypnosis…a personal favourite of mine.

2. Notice your irrational thinking: which is usually made up of statements, like… “I must”, or “I should”. Must and should statements create anxiety. They place unrealistic demands upon us. “I must do well at my interview” “I should be more successful in life”…etc.

3. The last step is to re-frame these irrational thoughts: Instead of telling yourself that “I should do well at my interview” you might say to yourself, “I want to do well at my interview, and I am going to do my best, but if I don’t succeed, it’s not the end of my world.” Or instead of saying “I should be more successful in life” try saying to yourself “I want to be successful in life, and I do the best I can to make it happen, but if I don’t do well I can still have a happy, interesting, and healthy life.”

When we feel overwhelmed or distressed, it is usually helpful to rationalise the situation, or event. The steps above need to become a life habit if you want to get results, not just something you try once or twice. Like shaking hands, eventually, you just find yourself doing it naturally. Of course, there is much more you can do to change your thinking, but these three steps are a good place to start.

Until next time

Marcus.

The Real Truth about Tiger Woods!

No, I am not referring to his recent accident. I am talking about his success secret, or one of them. Yes, he is a naturally talented and gifted man. But, what most people don’t realise is that he has learned to use the highly useful tool of self-hypnosis.

Tiger has discovered the secret that almost all successful people have discovered. It is the amazing ability to focus the mind and create positive outcomes….And he is not the only celeb that uses this skill….

…Sylvester Stallone, Matt Damon and Sir Winston Churchill…Yes, they have all used hypnosis to improve their lives!

Sylvester Stallone used self-hypnosis to help himself to become successful back in the Rocky days. Matt Damon quit smoking with Hypnosis. Winston Churchill used a form of self-hypnosis to help him to make important decisions during his time in office. There are of course many other famous people who have been helped by hypnosis, some you may know about, and others who choose to keep it a secret.

It has been well documented that Winston Churchill spent 30 minutes each day in a state of inner focus. He would close his eyes, go inside himself and clear his mind ready to address the many important decisions that he needed to make.

Many famous people have got help from hypnosis over the years. Billy Joel and Drew Barrymore both quit smoking with hypnosis. One well known singer from the seventies took things a step further, she is now a hypnotherapist. Her name is Helen Ready. Remember her? Helen sang “I am a woman”

How much is Tigers success down to self-hypnosis? We may never know, it could be 10% or maybe even 90% nobody can answer that. But remember just because you are born with the potential to be good at something, you must be able to channel that potential in the right direction.


Want to learn more about self-hypnosis? Check out my book “How to Change Your Life” …Just click on the link below…
http://www.marcusdsilva.com/howtochangeyourlife.html


To Your Success!
Marcus.